呼吸 : My brother’s warm hand, his breathing, and his efforts to live his life to the fullest.

呼吸 : My brother’s warm hand, his breathing, and his efforts to live his life to the fullest.

呼吸 : 弟のあたたかな手の温もり､感じる呼吸､一生懸命生きようとしている弟の姿

どうして､何故､何で弟が､俺が変わってあげられたら､何もしてあげられない苦しさ､信じ祈り寄り添い､感じ待つ事しか出来ない苦しさ
今家族は皆そんな苦しさを心に抱きあの日以降の日々を弟を見つめ感じ生きています
どこか空っぽな心､そこらじゅうに感じる弟の影や声､勝手に溢れだす涙
毎日弟を想い祈り寄り添い生きる家族
こうなるまでこんなにも弟を傍で感じたことは大人になってからは無かった
伸輔はいつも素敵な仲間に囲まれあたたかく生きているようでどこか寂しかったのかなとも思う……
色々なみなさんの中にある伸輔が弟の姿が話すととても大きく色んな人にあたたかな影響を与えていた伸輔

みなさんの中でとても大きな伸輔の存在
何をしてでもいくらお金がかかっても伸輔を助けたい何かしたいと言う人や
伸輔を傍に感じたいと言う人や､力を送りたいと言ってくださる方々や
皆伸輔に帰ってきて欲しいと願い奇跡を信じてそれぞれに動いてくださっています

世界中から届く温かな想いや声 
そのおかげで今伸輔は精一杯呼吸をし生きようとしています

倒れて以来､未だに意識が戻ってはいませんが
家族仲間そして伸輔の大切な方々が伸輔を想い帰りを待ってくださっています

こんなにも素敵な人々に囲まれ生きていた弟
実家やたまに飲む際やお正月などしか
伸輔とゆっくり語り合うことは出来なかったけれど
こうして今伸輔を毎日感じていると伸輔のあたたかさや伸輔が繋げた優しい想いの繋がり
を日々感じ
皆の心にある伸輔の偉大さを家族も皆感じさせられます

僕もそんな弟の兄で光栄だし挨拶する度に伸輔の事を語るみなさんの表情を心を感じ
また一人になった時伸輔を思い出し涙が溢れます

やっぱり世界一自慢の弟です

それは体の大きさ手の大きさ息遣い全てから
伸輔自身から溢れているオーラから感じます

伸輔の今の姿は家族には辛すぎますが
自分が伸輔の立場だったらその方が自分は良かったと家族皆が思っているかもしれません

でもそうなったら今度は伸輔がもっと苦しい思いするのかなとか､みんな優しい家族だから
変わってあげたいと思うのだろうけど
みんな元気だったら良かったのに

今何も出来なくて一番苦しい思いしている伸輔そんな伸輔を家族みんなで支え帰りを待っています……

出来ること全部してあげたい

皆そんな想いで生きています
だからみんな心が疲れているかもしれないけれど､それよりも自分よりもと
頑張ってしまうのです

だからそんな家族を伸輔も含め支え守ってやりたい自分はそう思いますし
家族皆そんな風な想いでいるのだと思います

だから伸輔を信じ祈り
家族みんなも支え合い伸輔の奇跡を祈り続けます……

どうかお願いばかりで申し訳ありませんが
伸輔の奇跡を信じお祈りくださいませ

よろしくお願いします……
伸輔に家族に世界中のみなさんにも
優しい風が吹きますように……

生きろ
生きよう
生きる

伸輔､待ってる
あっちゃんより……

⚫伸輔日記(伸輔と家族の一ヶ月)

9月7日(日曜日)
夕方､伸輔の奥さんから電話､伸輔が救急搬送されたと取り乱した様子で
慌てて両親に伝え､横浜市の川沿いにある病院へ父と二人慌てて駆けつけた
救急救命から入ると泣き崩れ地べたに座り込む奥さんの姿､看護師の方から説明を受け
色々な書類に記入事項を記入し
先生から説明を受ける
運ばれた時には既に心肺停止状態で､これから検査を受けるとの事
まさかのお話しに言葉を失う
そしてストレッチャーに乗せられ大勢の看護師の方々に囲まれ運ばれていく伸輔の姿に涙をこらえる
それから数時間小さな部屋で先生の説明があるまで待つ
自分も薬を持参していなかったので
21時前に先に帰宅し薬をのみ今一度向かおうと思っていたら父が帰宅
先生の話を受け､父の話を聞く
伸輔の状態はｴｸﾓで肺を動かし人工呼吸機で心臓を動かしている状態意識は戻っていない

9月8日(月曜日)
午後面会時間に
伸輔の元へ､沢山の機械に繋がれ管に繋がれ
ﾍﾞｯﾄﾞの周りは機械だらけ
伸輔にも近寄れず触れることも出来ない
仰向けで管だらけの顔だけ覗いた状態の伸輔に意識のない伸輔に涙が溢れる
呼び掛けに反応することもなく目蓋にはテープが貼られ目が開かないようにされているのか
そんな伸輔の姿を見るのが辛く可哀想で涙がこらえられない
どうして弟がこんな思いしなきゃならないのか
弟は不整脈で倒れ救急搬送されたようです
これまでに何度か予兆はあったようでその時に病院へ行ってさえいればこのような事態になっていなかったのかもと悔やまれる
伸輔帰ってこい!

9月9日
(火曜日)神社へお参りへ行き祈り
伸輔の元へ今日は伸輔の娘の美羽と息子の良輔が来る入り口で二人と待ち合わせし､二人を連れて伸輔の眠るICUへ……
伸輔の姿が見えた瞬間涙をポロポロ流し見るのが怖いと……
そんな伸輔のパパの姿を想像もしていなかったパパの姿に何も言えず座り見つめる良輔と
パパパパと呼び掛ける美羽
そんな心からの二人の呼び掛け答えるように機械からピピピピと音が響き､機械で動かされている呼吸で答えているように感じる
冷たい指先冷たい頬
三人で涙を流しながら呼び掛ける帰ってこい伸輔､生きろ伸輔……

9月10日(水曜日)
今日は先生のお話がある日､正直向かう前から怖かった……最悪の事ばかりが頭をよぎる
でも希望を持ち､朝から神社へ祈りに行き
面会時間には病院へ着くもそれから3時間ほど
処置をするからと待たされて
面会前に先生からのお話しを僕らの両親と奥さんのご両親と聞く……
もう意識が戻ることは期待できない呼び掛けに答えることも目を開くことも何かに触れることも感じることも笑うことも出来ない
病院に運ばれた時点で希望は失われている状態だったとのこと
部屋に居た皆涙が溢れる､どうやっても何をしても伸輔が何かを感じることはもう二度と出来ないのかと希望を抱き訊いてみた
その返事は「ありません」
絶望的な状態､ただｴｸﾓは外され自分の肺で呼吸し心臓は人工呼吸機で補助され生きている状態
言葉を失い心が張り裂けそう
自分が変わってあげられたら良いのに
助けてあげられたら良いのに
待ってくださっていた伸輔のお見舞いに帰宅ださった方々に伸輔の状態を説明しようとするも涙が溢れ堪えられず泣きながら説明
でも希望や奇跡を信じ祈り続けたい続けて欲しいと
苦しい話だった
どうして弟がどうして伸輔がこんな思いしなきゃいけないのか……
伸輔にも奇跡が起こって欲しかった
でも俺は諦めない､伸輔が目覚めるまで自分が倒れたって頭が爆発したって祈り続けたい続ける
世界でたった一人の大切で自慢の弟
愛する弟､いつまでもあっちゃんあっちゃんな
可愛い弟
生きて欲しい伸輔が居ない世界より居る世界が俺は好きだ
生きて欲しい結局帰宅は20:30頃
伸輔の姿を見れたのは一瞬
ﾍﾞｯﾄﾞ周りの機械が少し減り傍に寄れ手に触れることが出来た
生きろ伸輔

9月11日(木曜日)
朝実家へ行くと美羽が学校に行けないと
涙をﾎﾞﾛﾎﾞﾛ流し泣いていた
お父さん(じじ)から話を聞いたようで心がﾎﾞﾛﾎﾞﾛで学校へ行く事が出来ないと……
美羽に寄り添い美羽とお話しをした
伸輔の子供の頃の写真を取り出し一緒に見た
少しだけ落ち着き学校に行けないから実家で勉強すると……
僕はその間に神社へ行き祈りに行った
そしてお父さんが母の通院､病院から帰ってきて
一緒に伸輔の元へ……
今日は吐いてしまったようで横向きにされていた伸輔
看護師さん達に綺麗にしてもらい
これまでよりｻｯﾊﾟﾘとした表情の伸輔だった
頭も頬もおでこも温かく手も温かく
日に日に身体が温かくなっているのを感じる
その後処置があるからと伸輔にまた来るねと声をかけICUから離れる
また一歩明日もまた一歩俺達兄弟は今日もめいいっぱいで生きています

9月12日(金曜日)
今日は伸輔に逢う前に朝目覚めと同時に神社へ祈りに向かう
そして自分の通院､朝バス体へ向かう途中
既にバスが停まっており､慌てて駆ける
入院後初めて走った､走れるかわからなかったけれど走ってバスへ
間に合った……
そして病院へ､手術から一ヶ月久々の先生の姿にホッと心が安らぐ､脳神経外科医先生に弟の事を話す……もし先生が助けてくれるならと少しの希望を抱き
しかし､先生も何もわからない状態では何も言えず､医者と言う立場を除いて弟さんの回復を祈っていますとあたたかな声をいただきました
その後リハビリ科へ行き入院中お世話になった先生の診察､今の状況は大変ですが無理はなさらないようにとあたたかなお声をいただきました……
その後バスに乗り一時帰宅し実家へ両親の様子を見に行くと二人とも伸輔に逢いに行きたいと
結局三人で伸輔の元へ……
今日の伸輔はまた反対向きに横にされていました
今日も手は温かく足も温かく､頬も温かく
額はタオルがかけられ脳波を測る機械が貼られているようでした
今日も精一杯呼吸し一生懸命生きようとしている姿に涙が溢れました
泣いてばかりの兄でごめん､俺が代われるものなら代わってやりたい
伸輔にいっぱい声をかけ面会時間いっぱいまで伸輔を見つめﾊﾟﾜｰを送ってきました
生きろ伸輔
伸輔の大切な人達がずっと伸輔の笑顔を声を待っているよ……

9月13日
伸輔が倒れてから伸輔のLINEにメッセージと写真を送っています
俺の入院中のように弟から返事が返ってくる事はないけれど
心に届けばと思い送っています
今日はぽつぽつと雨が降ったり止んだりを繰り返しています
空も晴れたり曇ったり
今日も神社へ向かい祈りそれから父と伸輔の元へ
伸輔の奥さんも家族も心の疲れが見えていて
みんな支えてあげたいし伸輔も助けてあげたい
今日は伸輔の幼稚園時代からの友達とお母様が逢えないけれど見舞に来てくださいました
今日は髪を洗髪してもらったらしく､気持ち良さそうなｻｯﾊﾟﾘした表情になっていた弟
しかし昨日痰を出すための処置がされうつぶせ状態が続いたため顔がむくみ唇が腫れていました
しかしそれより驚いたのが突然の呼吸の乱れと足の痙攣
そして機器の音
何が起きたのかと驚きましたが看護師さんいわく時折しゃっくりが起きその際足の痙攣も同時に起こると……
苦しそうだったので自分が吸いとってあげれれたらと額に降れ落ち着いて落ち着いて大丈夫大丈夫だよと声をかけましたが
しゃっくりはしばらく続き止んだかと思えばまた起こったり
でも伸輔がまた一歩､生きてるなと感じられた瞬間でした
今日は指先は少し冷たく感じましたが足は温かく身体も頬も額も頭も温かく
一生懸命生きてるのを感じました
今日も頑張る弟の姿に涙がこぼれそうになりましたが
伸輔の左目尻に涙が度々溢れてくるのを何度も脱ぐってあげました
誰よりも生きたいのは伸輔本人だよな
俺も伸輔にまた笑って欲しいし愛する人を見て欲しいし声を聴いて欲しい
寄り添う二人を感じたい
こうなるまでなかなか逢えない俺らだったけど
改めて大切だと思わせてくれてありがとう
生きろ伸輔生きよう伸輔

9月14日三連休中日日曜日
伸輔が倒れ搬送されてか一週間
今日は昨日から気温が上がり雲に覆われた空に
湿度の高い暑さが閉じ込められ蒸し暑い一日
今朝も神社へお参りに向かい伸輔の事､家族の身体の事を祈って来ました
昨日の伸輔のしゃっくりと痙攣に驚かされたけど痙攣やしゃっくりは脳が生きていればこその身体の反応と言う文章を目にし少しだけど伸輔の生を感じました
また今日も伸輔の呼吸を感じられたらあたたかさを感じられたら良いな
と思いつつ夫婦二人の写真を現像し額装する
伸輔がいつ目覚めても寂しくないように……
そして今日もバスに乗り伸輔の元へ
また小金丸先生が伸輔にﾊﾟﾜｰを送りに来てくださいました……
今日は背もたれが起こされていて､久々に起きている伸輔に逢えて嬉しかったです
少し熱が高かったようで冷やされていて
眠るお薬も投与されていたようだけど
昨日の顔の腫れ唇の腫れはすっかり良くなり顔色も良かったね
少しずつ一歩づつだけど､一緒に無理だけはせずがんばろうね
今日も逢えて良かった……
倒れてから一週間早く元気になって外の空気が吸いたいよね
帰りに黒猫に逢いました。
俺黒猫に逢うと何故か良いことが起こるんだ
だから伸輔に良いことが起こりますように
祈っておきます……

9月15日月曜日敬老の日
今朝も空は雲が多くでも遠くの空には眩しい太陽覗く朝
雲に覆われていく空､伸輔も目覚めているかな
今日も神社へ行き伸輔への祈り､俺の親友が伸輔を救ってくれるように､そして家族を守ってくれますように
今日は昼から姪っ子の美羽と待ち合わせして病院へ
二人で伸輔の居るICUへ伸輔の奥さんのお姉さまとお母様とファミリールームで会いその後二人でICUへ……
伸輔の部屋が移動し別の部屋に
そして傍に置いていた写真や御守りは伸輔のICUの外に飾ってくださっていました……
今日も横向きに寝かされ身体を冷やされていまし熱が高く薬は投与できない状況で外から身体を冷やしてくださっていましたが
伸輔の手は今日も大きくあたたかく
美羽はずっとパパの大きな手を包みパパは大きなペンだこがあるんだよとたこを探し
面会中ずっとパパの手を握り頬を寄せそのあたたかさを感じていました……
たった一人のパパと大切な愛する娘
そっと見つめ､俺も背をさすり大きな背中をさすり
伸輔寄り添う時間
こうなるまで子供の頃以来こんなにも弟の傍に寄り添っていたことはなかったけれど
もっと弟との時間大切にしてたらと
今になって思う
その後甥っ子も来たけれどこちらやっぱり泣き虫で､お父さんの姿に耐えられず涙を流し寄り添いまるで子供の頃の伸輔のようで
でも今日はお父さんからもらったキャップを被って会いに来て
でもパパの前では我慢できず泣いて
あたたかな家族の時間
伸輔は今日もあたたかく精一杯呼吸をし生きていました
早く熱が落ち着き楽な状態で逢えると良いね
今日もありがとう
今日はファミリールームでみんなで鶴を折りました……

帰り美羽は実家に寄りおじいちゃんおばあちゃんの神棚に祈って雨上がりの中家に帰っていきました
優しくあたたかなパパに似た娘と息子
また連れて行くよ伸輔
明日も一歩一歩焦らずにね

9月16日火曜日
昨日夕暮れ時に激しく降った雨､夜もポツポツ雨が降り昨夜の雨の跡が残る朝
今日も雲の多い湿度の高い朝
今日も伸輔の事を祈りに日枝神社へ
今日は綺麗に生えた芝から生えた可愛い白いきのこ
寄り添う伸輔夫婦のようで伸輔と子供達のようで愛くるしくて思わず何枚も写真を撮ってしまう
今日もまた伸輔が一歩辛い状況を乗り越えあたたかな気持ちで呼吸出来ますように
今日も一緒に優しくあたたかく生きようね
今日は車椅子に母を乗せ二人でタクシーで伸輔の元へ……
脳の手術後なので車も運転できず､自転車にも乗れないのでタクシーで
車を運転するには警察で資料をいただき先生とリハビリの先生の診断書が必要な為
タクシーで伸輔のICUのある階のファミリールームへ行くとまた小金丸先生がいらしてくださっていて……
先生からまたパワーをいただき母と伸輔の元へ
今日もまだ熱が高い伸輔､体の中から薬で熱を下げられれば良いのですが､内蔵が悪い部分があり内側からは熱を下げられず
外側から冷やしていただいていました
今日母が伸輔の手を握りずっと寄り添い話しかけていました
母は車椅子なので簡単に一人で来ることが出来ないので来れる時に伸輔に寄り添いめいいっぱい伸輔の温もりを生を感じていました
小金丸先生もそんな伸輔の少しずつの変化を生きている証、生きようとしている証と喜んでくださいました
昨日は先生の奥様とまだ小さな息子さんが伸輔にパワーを送りに来てくださいました
みんなに愛されている伸輔
本人が一番感謝の気持ちを届けたいだろうに……
今日も伸輔のあたたかさを感じ母と二人で帰ってきました
帰りのタクシーの運転手さんも大病を患い3ヶ月僕と同じ病院で入院しその後一年別の病院で生きた心地のしない入院生活を送っていたそうで､生かしてくれた方への感謝と､タクシーに乗ってくださった方への感謝を込めて皆さんに駄菓子をプレゼントしているようで
僕と母も二つづつ駄菓子をいただきました
生きていることへの感謝
僕もそうですが弟も帰ってきたら一緒に感謝の気持ちを世界中へ届けたいです……
な!伸輔……
今日も苦しい中お母さんに逢ってくれてありがとう
喜んでいたし伸輔の顔みて落ち着いた様子でした……

9月17日
今日は朝から自分は薬を処方してくださる最初にMRIを受けたクリニックの先生の元へ診察へ
脳神経外科医の先生に希望を抱き弟の話をする
誰かに伸輔を助けてもらいたい
でも､やはり低酸素脳症の話をすると言葉がなくなる先生
世界の誰でも良い伸輔に奇跡を起こしてあげて欲しい
もし可能なら僕の脳以外健康体な体を交換してあげても良い
腫瘍が減った僕の脳と交換してあげても良い
突然消えた感覚をまた感じさせてあげたい
その後は一旦家に帰り神社へ祈りに行き
今日は父と１m13時からの伸輔の先生からのお話を受けに伸輔の居る病院へ
奥さんと奥さんの家族そして僕と父で先生の話を聞く
伸輔現在感染症と闘い熱と闘い一生懸命呼吸をしている
今日は先生や看護士さん方による伸輔の看護の甲斐があり39℃だった熱少し下がり37℃台に下がり落ち着いていた
弟はまだ脳幹が生きており脳死ではないしかし､植物人間状態
もう声も愛する人達､大切な人達の声も聴こえず､大好きな歌も歌えず声が発せられず､匂いも嗅げず感情も表すことが出来ずで､でも脳死ではないのなら希望がある､奇跡がある
心臓は精一杯生きようとしている
先生もだから手を着くし伸輔を診てくださっている感情は表せなくても体で呼吸で意志を発しているように声を発しているように生きようとしているように感じます
本当に僕が変わってあげたい……
伸輔は次の段階へ､呼吸を補う装置を口から首へ……一生懸命生きている弟の姿を感じ今日は父をフォローしながら帰宅
弟へありがとうのLINEを送り写真を送る
今日も一生懸命生きています
ありがとう伸輔
俺や家族みんなで伸輔の愛する奥さん子供達を支えるから安心して今と向き合い闘うんだよ
頑張れ世界一の弟

9月18日木曜日
今朝は気持ち良く晴れた空
今日も神社へ行き弟と家族の事を祈りに
今日は手水舎の竜が微笑んでいました
そして芝から生えていた白い可愛いきのこが傘を広げ
花のように陽射しをめいいっぱい浴び抱え
また美しく感じました
今日はそれから警察へ行き脳手術をした人が提出しなければならない診断書の紙とリハビリ時にやるような簡単なテストをさせていただいたりまるで警察署で入院時のリハビリをしているような感覚
そこから処方箋を手に薬を購入しに僕の薬はとても高額で……100mgで牛丼一杯食べれるほど
これを一生飲みつづけなければならないとは……
自転車の許可が出ていないので沢山歩き回り気づけばもう16:30……弟が倒れてから毎日行っていた病院へ今日は行けず
今日は逢いに行けずでしたが
奥さんから伸輔の様子状態の話を聞き
今日も感染症が起こす熱と闘いながら頑張っている様子
今日も闘う兄弟
伸輔も頑張っている俺も頑張らねば……
心と心で支え合う僕ら
今日もありがとうまた明日
ゆっくり優しい夢を……

9月19日金曜日
今朝は昨日までの暑さは全く消え
涼しく感じる朝､今日も神社へ行き､伸輔の事そして家族の心､身体を祈る
今日手水舎の竜は微笑んでいました
その後今日父と弟の元へ……
先日までの感染症が起こす熱も少し下がり
顔色と呼吸が良いように感じました
今日もファミリールームでは待ち時間に折鶴を伸輔の奥さんとお母様と三人で折り千羽鶴を目標に折っていました
伸輔､みんないつも傍で離れていても心は傍に
伸輔の事祈っているよ
今日は血液検査やら色々な検査などで面会時間が遅れてしまったけれど
みなさん伸輔に寄り添い一生懸命生かしてくれています
それも伸輔が頑張っているからこそ
今日も苦しかったと思うけど
一歩づつゆっくり明日を目指しましょう……

9月20日土曜日
今朝は雨が降った跡が残る朝
今日も涼しい雲の多い空土曜日
今日も父と入れ違いで神社へ
今日は父の方が少し早かったようで
自分も伸輔の事神社の竜に狛犬に神様に祈り
家族の事を祈り
竜の微笑みを感じ心の中で伸輔生きろと何度も呟きながら帰宅
そして今日も父とバスを乗り継ぎ伸輔の元へ
今日も奥さんは神社へ祈りに行き病院へ
家族皆伸輔に寄り添う日々
今日も伸輔の呼吸をあたたかさを感じ
さよなら､傍にいてあげたいけれど
おくも傍にいさせてあげたいし
伸輔も一緒に寄り添っていたいだろうけど
また明日
伸輔今日も良く頑張ったね
また一歩焦らずに今夜もゆっくり休んでくださいね

9月21日
あの日から二週間
今日はまた夏の陽射しが戻ったように
ジリジリと陽射しが暑く感じます
ただ日影は風が心地よく感じました
そんな夏の暑さが戻った日曜日
伸輔が倒れてから二週間
今朝も神社へお参りに行き今日は父の方が先だったようで道ですれ違い続いて兄が
今日は手水舎の竜にも水浴びさせてあげ
周りの緑にも水浴び
今日も狛犬様達の心臓に触れご挨拶
伸輔と家族の事を祈った瞬間吹いた優しい風を感じ
竜の微笑みを感じ帰宅
そして面会時間の午後にバスを乗り継ぎ伸輔の元へ
今日はベッドの柵を掴んでいるような体勢
少し熱が上がってはいたものの
今日も一生懸命呼吸をし生きています
頑張れ伸輔､苦しいけどみんな待ってるよ
ゆっくり休んで落ち着いたら家族の手を掴みな
今日も帰宅後伸輔にLINEを送り
また明日
今日も精一杯生きている弟
俺も生きなきゃ

9月22日
今日も暑そうな陽射しだったけど
でも感じる空気は心地よく風も心地よい月曜日
今朝も神社へ行き手水舎の竜に祈り狛犬様に祈り神社で祈り､親友にお願いし
実家で神棚へ祈り
今日は少し早めに伸輔の元へ病院へ､しかし面会のタイミング処置が始まり
父を残し先に帰宅､今日はICUの扉の外から伸輔を感じ伸輔にﾊﾟﾜｰを送り帰宅
伸輔は今日これまで口から通していた管を喉を切開し喉元からの人工呼吸に顔がスッキリしていたようですが､苦しさは変わらないのでしょうが､伸輔にとってはこれの方が楽との先生の声､闘い続ける弟､俺の健康な首から下をあげたい……
兄弟家族皆で支え合い寄り添い今日も精一杯生きています
逢えなくてごめんよ伸輔
奥さんにお父さんに俺のぶんもお願いしたからね!
今日も処置等大変な一日だったと思う
ゆっくり休んでくださいね
今日見た感じた空や風を送ります
早く戻っておいで

9月23日祝日秋分の日
今日も気持ち良い秋を感じる空気と風
陽射しも暑くなく心地よい外の陽気
昨日病院へ行ったけど処置の都合で
逢えなかったけれど
今日は逢えて良かった
今日も朝神社へ行ったら今日はお父さんが祈っているところでした
その後僕もも伸輔の事､家族みんなの事祈って帰宅
今日は少しだけまだ頑張ることを禁止されているけれど頑張ってお仕事して伸輔の元へ向かいました
奥さんの家族とお父さんは父の母親､僕と伸輔がそう呼んでいたカンカン婆ちゃんのところへ祈りに行ってくれました
自分は今日もお母さんと神棚でおじいちゃんおばあちゃんにお願いし
伸輔のところへ行きました
始め体勢を変えて貰ったばかりで痙攣してたけどすぐ落ち着き
久々の伸輔の瞳が見れました､すぐ目蓋を閉じてしまったけれど
その後来たお父さんが嫌なことばかり言って煩すぎたのか今日は始めて体を動かして驚かされました……
今日も頑張っている一生懸命呼吸をしている伸輔を見て俺ももっと頑張らなきゃなと感じました

ありがとう伸輔

無理はできないけれど
俺も伸輔と一緒に闘うから
頑張ろうね

大丈夫だよ伸輔
寝るのに疲れたらまた起きて美味しい空気と大好きな奥さんと一緒に実家でお母さんのご飯食べようね!

今日も一生懸命で疲れたよね
ゆっくり休んで優しい夜でありますように
今日もありがとう
また明日!!

9月24日水曜日
伸輔､今日はまた昨日と同じくらいの時間に
今日は､父と一緒に伸輔の元へ……
今日は朝は心地よく涼しく感じたけど
昼間の陽射しは､残暑を思わせる暑い陽射しを感じました
今朝も朝から神社へお祈りに､今日はまた芝の上に白いきのこが沢山生えていました
刈られても刈られても生えてくる生命力
伸輔に分けてあげたい
今日も手水舎の、竜は優しく笑みを浮かべ､狛犬様達もまた強くあたたかく心を守ってくれ
伸輔と家族の事を祈り優しく吹く風を感じると
綺麗な蝶が舞い降りてきた
そして今日も親友にお願いし帰宅そして伸輔の元へ
昨日体を動かし驚かされたけど今日も
父の嫌な言葉に体をピクピク動かし更にあくびをして見せてくれました
目蓋が薄く開いているせいか涙が浮かび何度か拭って
顔の周りの汚れを拭いてやりました
伸輔はその後しゃっくりを始め苦しそうでしたが､今日その後奥さんに頭を洗ってもらい
体を拭いてもらいきっとスッキリ気持ちがよかったかな……
少しの変化でも嬉しく感じる今
伸輔の呼吸を感じ､今日も精一杯生きている伸輔を感じ嬉しかったです
少し時間があれば折鶴を折り今どれくらいたまっているのか……
伸輔が目覚め秋の心地よい風空気を感じられると良いな……
今日も屋上から見た夕空は優しいよ
明日はまた先生のお話し
伸輔にとって明日へ繋がる優しい一歩になりますように……
明日も生きよう兄弟揃って一歩な!!

9月25日木曜日
今朝も涼しさと陽射しの暖かさ感じる朝
今朝も父と道ですれ違い行き違いで神社へ
今日は銀杏の樹が落とした銀杏の実の独特な匂いが漂う神社
芝は陽射しを浴び青々と美しく柔らかく感じ
風は心地よい
伸輔の事を祈り家族の事を祈り今日も狛犬様の微笑みと手水舎の竜の微笑みを感じ親友にもお願いし帰宅
今日は先生のお話しがあるからとお昼前には病院へ
そこから15時過ぎまで緊急の患者さんのため先生が手を離せないと話を聞けたのは15時過ぎでもこれまでよりも少しだけど希望が持てる話で、でもその後の事務の方のお話しは現実的なお話しで､高額医療制度をもってしても月のお支払が物凄く高額すぎて､この後家族で頭を抱えました伸輔の為家族で支え合い助けられればと思いました｡
死ぬ気になれば家族の為と思えば何でも出きる気がします
ただ僕の主治医の先生やリハビリの先生にばれたら怒られそうですが､死んでも弟の為弟夫婦の為家族のために自分が出きることで支えられたらと思いました
今日も伸輔はあくびをしその度に体を動かしていました
そんな精一杯生きる弟の為伸輔の為に
家族で頑張らねばだ
伸輔生きろこっちの世界は､病院の外は風が心地良いぞ

9月26日
今日も気持ち良く晴れた空､今日も神社へ祈りに行くと､今日は鳥居の向こう側はトンボが沢山見たこと無いくらいの数飛び回っていました
トンボ達も伸輔の事祈ってくれているのかな……
ありがとう
今日は､そのまままた夏が戻ったように陽射しが暑い一日だったけれど
外の気温とは逆に弟の熱は下がり

伸輔の様子は奥さんが髭を整えてまたさっぱりした表情で､昨日高かった熱は夜の間に下がったようで､始めて36℃台で､気持ち良さそうに寝ているだけのようでした
昨日父が声かけした際あくびをしながら体を動かしていたのは
今日は静かに動きも表情も落ち着いた感じで
良かったけれど
父は伸輔の動きを希望を感じたくしつこく声をかけていたので反応が無いことに寂しそうでしたが
それでも伸輔が楽なのが一番
感染症に負けず闘う伸輔は今日も精一杯呼吸をし一生懸命生きていました
今日も頑張ったな
また明日へ一歩互いに焦らず落ち着いて進もう

9月27日土曜日
今日は雲に覆われた涼しい朝
雨の跡の残る町
神社も大きな水たまりがありました
今日も手水舎の竜神様に挨拶､伸輔の事を祈り
狛犬様にも祈り､神社の神様そして僕の親友にも祈り
優しい風を感じた朝の神社

親友に何か良いことがあればと祈り続ける日々
今日は伸輔の元へ行く出発ギリギリまで色々と作業をして

いざ､お父さんとは川崎からのバス乗場で待ち合わせ一緒に病院へ
奥さんとお姉さんお母さんと三人が先に伸輔の元へ
その際伸輔はあくびを見せてくれたようですが
お父さんに今日は見せてくれず､熱の下がった心地よさからかすやすや気持ち良さそうに寝ているように感じました
そんな伸輔の姿を見ていると本当に寝ているだけのように見えて安心しました
熱も血圧も安定しててホッとした
今日も頑張って呼吸をし精一杯生きていた弟
ありがとう
いつもお父さんが伸輔の反応を見ようと騒がしくてごめんね
今日もありがとう､また明日ね
また一歩一緒に踏み出そう

9月28日日曜日搬送された日から三週間
今日も精一杯生き一生懸命闘い生きる弟
呼吸の度膨らみ縮みする分厚い胸
時折痙攣する足
奥さんによって整えられた髪や髭
変わらない伸輔の姿､影
寝ているだけのように見える弟の姿
もう三週間､僕よりも長い入院期間
僕は早く外の空気が吸いたくて仕方なかった
窓から外を眺める日々だった
伸輔もきっと同じように外の世界が恋しいはず
早く元気になってだしてやりたいけれど
まだ少しの辛抱
今日も神社へ行き祈り神様達の微笑みを感じ
風を感じた
今日は父と駅で待ち合わせし伸輔の元へ
奥さん達が会いに行った際はあくびをし体を動かしていたそうだけど
父と僕が行った時はスヤスヤ安心して眠っている様子でした
今日も一生懸命呼吸して精一杯生きていました
また一歩明日へ進む弟の姿
自分も頑張らねば
今日もありがとう
また明日､家族みんなで生きようね

9月29日月曜日
新しい一週間の始まりはまた夏色の空と雲
陽射しと共に暑さが戻った月曜日
今日も朝から神社へ行き神様達に挨拶と伸輔の事､家族の事を祈り､親友にお願いし帰宅
そして今日は早めに一人で弟の元へ
しかし､伸輔の処置が始まり面会時間開始にはICUへ入れず､それから1時間と少し待ち
と伸輔の奥さんとお母様が来てそれと同時に渡されていたPHSの電話が鳴り三人で伸輔の元へ

今日も一生懸命呼吸し精一杯生きる弟
奥さん伸輔の眉毛を整え､自分は気になっていた足の爪を持参していた爪切りで切ってあげたのですが
切り始めた瞬間足の指がぴくぴく動いたので
深爪でもしたかと思いごめんよと､焦りました……
人の爪なんて切った事無いから慣れないけれど
綺麗に切り尖った所の無いようにヤスリで磨き整えました

自分は今日やってあげようと思っていたことを済ませ先に伸輔と明日逢う約束をし帰宅

日に日に身軽になり綺麗になっていく弟
焦らず今日も一歩一呼吸一呼吸大切に生きた頑張ったね
また明日ね……

9月30日火曜日
今朝は昨日の暑さは全く感じず
気持ちの良い朝､空は雲に覆われているけれど
湿度の無い気持ち良い空気
そんな空気を感じながら神社へ
今日も神様達に挨拶し伸輔の事家族の事を祈り帰宅
今日も何か伸輔にとって良い一歩になる予感を感じながらそんな風を感じながら帰宅し
また午後今日父と伸輔の元へ
先に奥さんお母様が来られていて､今日は髪を散髪してあげたらしい､その際身体を動かしていたと……
嬉しかったんだろうな……
愛する人に髪を整えてもらえて……
そして一番の驚きは､人工呼吸器の管が今朝外され自発呼吸になったと言うこと
正直奥さんも僕も人工呼吸器に安心感があったので､自発呼吸には怖さはまだあるけれど
また一歩伸輔は進み､精一杯今日は自分の肺で心臓で身体で呼吸し一生懸命生きている伸輔を感じられました

そして今日は大切な仕事道具の手の爪を切ってあげました
綺麗に整えヤスリで磨き落ち着いた様子で眠っていた伸輔
そして今日は看護士さん達が伸輔の為の日記をみんなで書いてくださっている
そんな日記帳を読ませていただきました
みなさん親身になって伸輔に寄り添い見守りくださり
感動させられました……
伸輔､今日も頑張ったね､一生懸命生きたね
今日も熱も血圧も安定していたし
良かったよ
明日も焦らず大切に一息一息落ち着いて呼吸して一緒にあたたかく生きような

10月1日
朝から雨が降ったりやんだり一日中雨の日､水たまりの水曜日
今日も雨の神様､日枝神社へ小雨降る朝に行きました
今日こそは雨の日には絶対に行かねばと思い
今日も手水舎の竜神様に祈り
雨に打たれた狛犬様に祈り神社の神様に祈ると
神社のガラスの向こうに白い影を感じました
神様達みんな伸輔を守ってくれると
そう言ってくれたように感じました
今日は伸輔の元へ行くことは出来ないので
空を見上げては祈り
水たまりに落ちた空を見つめては祈り
雨降る夕暮れ時
屋上から見た遠くの雲を纏ったオレンジ色の夕陽を見ては祈り
行けなくても祈り続けた水曜日
実家に奥さんとお母さんが来てくれたので伸輔の様子を聞き
今日は落ち着きゆっくり休んでいる様子だったと
そして病棟へ移れるかもとの話に伸輔頑張っているなと
日々一歩一歩頑張って生きてるなと感じました
明日はまた逢いに行くから
ゆっくり休んでね……
また明日

10月2日木曜日
雨の後の残る朝､今日はまた少しあたたかさが戻った木曜日
とは言え夏の暑さはもう感じず
過ごしやすい空気の木曜日
今朝も神社へ祈りに行き神様達の笑みを感じ
伸輔の一歩を祈り家族の健康を祈り
今日も神様達の影を感じ帰宅
そして今日は伸輔の病院へ父と行って参りました
看護士さんかまた伸輔の部屋が変わったと
ICU内で一番奥だった部屋からまた移り更に今日移動したようで､窓を感じる部屋へ移動そしてまた一つ点滴の管が外され､身軽になったようで看護士さんも喜んでくれていました
伸輔今日は起きていたのか身体を動かし目蓋を動かしたり動きを父と僕に感じさせてくれました
そして深呼吸したような仕草も
父は大喜び､伸輔は今日頑張って精一杯一生懸命生きていました
熱また少し高めでしたが､足をマッサージし手のひらをマッサージさせてもらいました
伸輔ありがとうね
移動やら点滴の管外すのでき少し疲れていたかな
でもまた大きな一歩を歩んだように感じられた一日でした
今日も疲れたと思う
どうか優しい夜でありますように
明日も焦らず一歩一緒に大切に進もうね
毎日頑張ってるな……
俺も頑張るよ!!

10月3日
今日は両親の結婚記念日
朝から神社へお祈りへ途中で父とすれ違い
お互い入れ違いで神社へ
今日も神様達は優しい風を感じさせてくれました
そして今日も父と伸輔の元へ
今日は伸輔の顔や手を綺麗にさっぱり拭いてあげて
足もマッサージして間接が固まらないようにリハビリしてあげて
お父さんの呼び掛けに口をパクパクさせたり
体を動かしたり
俺が嬉しかったのは指をマッサージしてあげてる時､ギュゥッと手を握るように伸輔の指が動いた事
今日は更に点滴の根元が外され更に楽になっているように感じました
その後奥さんに頭を洗って貰ったようで
今日は気持ち良く休めるかな
毎日一歩一歩頑張る伸輔
今日も精一杯一生懸命自発呼吸しあたたかく生きていまし熱も下がって落ち着いていたかな
毎日一歩一歩頑張る弟の姿
今日も感じられて良かったです
ありがとう伸輔
明日も一緒に頑張ろうね生きようね

10月4日
土曜日､小雨降る雲の多い朝
雨の神社､今朝も日枝神社へ伸輔の事そして家族の想いを祈りに行きました
朝顔も空を見上げ陽射しを祈る
今日も神様達は微笑み優しい風を感じさせてくれました
それから父と二人伸輔の元へ
もう奥さんとお母様は先に伸輔に逢ったようで今日はおとなしく眠っていたようす
僕らも伸輔に逢いにICUに行くと今日は熱も落ち着きゆっくり眠っている様子でした
看護士さんに温かなタオルを借り伸輔の顔周りを拭いてやると
気持ち良さそうにあくびをしてくれました
その後手も指も拭いてあげその後また足のマッサージそして間接が固まらないように脚を動かしてやりました
父は伸輔の反応､動きを毎回楽しみにしているので今日は少し寂しそうでしたが
伸輔が熱も高くなく､穏やかに眠っているようで､安心しました………
気遣いの弟は日々処置や色んな看護士さん達に診てもらい心落ち着かないだろうなと思いましたが､みなさん寄り添っていただき家族は安心をいただいています
伸輔今日も良く頑張った｡ゆっくり休んで
優しい夜でありますように……

10月5日日曜日
今朝は空気が少し暑く感じる静かな日曜日の朝
空は青空が覗き白い雲､夏色に感じた空
雨が降ったのか雨の跡残る道
神社の芝も細かな雨粒を纏い輝いていました
今日も神様達は微笑み優しい風を感じさせてくれました
陽射しが暖かな日中､今日は伸輔の漫画の作者小金丸さんも家族でいらしてくださるとのことで
今日は奥さんとお母様の来る少し前に病院へ
また父と二人伸輔の元へ
病院へ向かうバス車内で奥さんと会い三人で病院へ
ファミリールームで待っていると小金丸さんご夫婦とお子さんが来てくださり
お子さんとみんなで遊びながら伸輔に逢える時間を待つ
今日も小金丸さんと手を握りしめ伸輔に小金丸さんからのパワーを届ける
ご夫婦もICUの扉の前でお祈りくださり
伸輔の元へ､少し処置の時間で待ち時間を経て伸輔の元へ
今日は乾燥しないように唇にジェルのようなものが塗ってあった
伸輔は今日も少し熱がアルモノノ落ち着いた様子で眠っている
今日も手足をマッサージしてあげると痛かったのか口がパクパクと動いた瞬間がありました
大きな一歩を踏み出した一週間
今週も一生懸命生き疲れがたまっているのか
落ち着いた様子
一週間頑張った弟､今日の月は虹色の雲を纏い綺麗に輝いていました
伸輔今週も良く頑張ったな!新しい一週間も兄弟揃ってあたたかな一歩を踏み出そうな!
また明日ね!

10月6日月曜日中秋の名月
今日は風をめいいっぱい感じる一日
一週間の始まりの月曜日
今朝も神社へ向かう途中お父さんとすれ違い
入れ違いで神社へ
今日も神様達は微笑み優しい風を感じさせてくれました
今日も父と一緒に伸輔の元へ
今日は先生のお話の日
早く行き奥さん達より先に伸輔に逢いに
今日は汗だくなようで髪がびしょ濡れ
顔中汗だくで
タオルを借りて髪も顔も顔中汗をぬぐい綺麗にさっぱりするように拭いてやりました
気持ち良かったのか体を動かし口を動かし
また父を喜ばしてくれました
その後手や指そして足もさっぱりするように拭いてあげて
関節も固まらないように優しく動かしてやり
少し落ち着いたように見えました
先生のお話によるとずっと感染症と戦い続けている伸輔
でも落ち着いたらようやく次のステップへ
病棟へ移れるかもしれない日が見えてきたと言うこと……
伸輔が日々闘い頑張っているからこその未来への一歩
なんだか嬉しい日でしたが
先生も看護士さん達も家族みみんなで進む一歩
弟の強さと頑張りを感じた一日でした
俺も頑張らなきゃ一緒に明日もあたたかく生きよう
そしていつか一緒に中秋の名月を見上げよう
今日も良く頑張ったな!

10月7日救急搬送から一ヶ月
今朝も神社へ向かう道で父とすれ違い入れ違いで神社へ
今日も陽射しが暖かくでも風があり秋の空気感じる火曜日
母は毎日病院へは行けないけれど伸輔を想いながら折鶴を折り
家族皆で折鶴を毎日折る
今日は昨日の先生のお話からまさかの午前中に
ICUを卒業し一般病棟へ
今日も父と二人伸輔に逢いに行く
奥さんとお母さんも同じ頃病院へ来てお話を受け
父と先に病室へ行くと､伸輔は何度もあくびをし体を動かしていました
今日も顔を拭き手足をマッサージし拭き
途中から奥さんとお母さんも来て奥さんが顔周りを綺麗にしてあげたり口を綺麗にしてあげたり
伸輔も奥さん､家族に囲まれ落ち着いた様子
一般病棟はICUと違ってやはり心配だけど
伸輔は今日も精一杯呼吸し生きていました
窓の無い部屋で本当は外の光を感じさせてあげたいけど､まだ辛抱
今日も一歩また伸輔の頑張りで進めました
これからも家族で寄り添い伸輔を支え助けてあげたい
一緒に頑張り生きていこう
外は少しずつ秋の色を感じるようになってきたよ
秋の風を感じさせてあげたいな
今日も引っ越しやら環境の変化で疲れたと思うけど､良く頑張った!
明日もあたたかく生きよう家族みんなでね!!
大きな一歩おめでとう伸輔

小さな頃から弱いくせにお兄ちゃんにちょっかいを出し闘いを挑み負けてでもまた闘いを挑み
一緒にお腹に座布団を巻きプロレスごっこをし
負けてあげたり勝ったり
細く弱々しかった弟

今は弟の手は太く大きく体も厚く大きく
娘の美羽はパパはゴリラだからと
でもどれだけ大きくなってもずっと傍に居て欲しい大好きなゴリラだとLINEで送ってきた
どんなに大きくなってもゴリラになっても愛していると
     

寂しいよな
何で伸輔なのか､俺なら良かったのに
こんな優しい子達､愛する子達のためにも生きなきゃな

美羽はパパの手を握り寄り添っていました

世界一の弟で世界一の優しいパパで
自慢のパパで自慢の弟で

これからも精一杯呼吸をして
あたたかく優しく生きて欲しい

愛してるぜ伸輔､生きような!!!

家族みんなで光を見つけよう!伸輔の奥さんが歌い兄弟一緒にFIND THE LIGHTを踊る様子…….

呼吸 : My brother’s warm hand, his breathing, and his efforts to live his life to the fullest.

Why, why, why, why, why, if my younger brother could change me, the pain of not being able to do anything, the pain of believing, praying, and feeling and waiting
 Now, all of my family is living with such pain in my heart, looking at my younger brother and feeling the days since that day.
 A somewhat empty heart, the shadows and voices of my younger brother that feel everywhere, tears that flow freely
 A family that lives with their younger brother every day, praying, cuddles, and living with them
 Until this happened, I never felt my younger brother so much as I was an adult.
 Shinsuke always seems to be living a warm life surrounded by wonderful friends, so I think he was somehow lonely…
 When Shinsuke, who is among the various people, spoke to his younger brother, he had a very large and warm influence on many people.

 There is a very big presence among you all
 No matter how much money it costs, people who want to help Shinsuke, do something
 People who want to feel Shinsuke by their side, people who want to send their strength, and others.
 Everyone wants Shinsuke to come back, believing in miracles, they move in their own way.

 Warm thoughts and voices that reach from all over the world
 Thanks to this, Ima Shinsuke is trying to live by breathing as hard as he can.

 I haven’t yet come back to consciousness since I collapsed
 My family friends and important people who are Shinsuke are waiting for Shinsuke to return home in mind.

 My younger brother was surrounded by such wonderful people
 Only when I drink at my parents’ house, occasionally, or when I drink it on New Year’s.
 Although I couldn’t speak slowly with Shinsuke.
 As I feel Shinsuke right now every day, Shinsuke’s warmth and the gentle feelings that Shinsuke has connected.
 Feel every day
 All my family can feel the greatness of Shinsuke in everyone’s hearts

 I am also honored to be my younger brother’s older brother, and I can feel the expressions of everyone who talks about Shinsuke every time I say hello.
 Tears fill me with memories of Shinsuke when he was alone again

 He is the most proud brother in the world

 It’s all about body size and hand size and breathing
 I feel it from the aura that is overflowing with confidence

 Shinsuke’s current appearance is too painful for his family.
 If I were in Shinsuke’s position, my whole family might think that I would have been better.

 But if that happens, maybe Shinsuke will feel even more painful this time, but they’re all kind of family.
 I’m sure I want to change
 It would have been good if everyone was fine

 Shinsuke, who is feeling the most painful thing because he can’t do anything right now, is supporting Shinsuke as his whole family awaiting his return…

 I want to do everything I can

 Everyone lives with that kind of thought
 So everyone may be tired, but more than that
 I’ll try hard

 That’s why I want to support and protect such family, including Shinsuke.
 I think the whole family feels that way

 So I trust Shinsuke and pray
 The whole family will support each other and pray for Shinsuke’s miracle…

 Sorry for asking, but
 Please believe in Shinsuke’s miracle and pray

 thank you……
 To Shinsuke, family, and everyone around the world
 I hope a gentle breeze blows…

 Live
 Let’s live
 live

 Shinsuke, I’m waiting
 From Achan…

Shinsuke’s diary

Sunday, September 7th
 In the evening, Shinsuke’s wife called and seemed to be confused as to how he had been taken to the emergency.
 I hurriedly told my parents, and my father and I rushed to a hospital along the river in Yokohama.
 When he enters from emergency care, his wife collapses in tears and sits down on the ground, and receives an explanation from the nurse.
 Fill in various documents with details
 Get an explanation from the teacher
 When he was taken, he was already in cardiac arrest and was about to undergo a test.
 I’m speechless at the unexpected story
 He then holds back tears as he sees Shinsuke being carried on a stretcher and surrounded by a large number of nurses.
 Then wait a few hours in a small room until the teacher explains
 I didn’t bring any medicines myself either, so
 I was heading home before 9pm and was thinking about going home again and taking my medicine once more, when my father came home.
 Hearing the teacher’s story and listening to his father’s story
 Shinsuke’s state is that he is moving his lungs with an ecto and moving his heart with an artificial respirator, and his consciousness is not regaining consciousness.

 Monday, September 8th
 During the afternoon meeting time
 To Shinsuke, he was connected to many machines and pipes.
 There are lots of machines around the bead
 I can’t get close to Shinsuke or touch him.
 Tears fillet at Shinsuke, who is lying on his back and only his face full of tubes, peering at his unconscious Shinsuke.
 Does the eyelid have no response to the appeal and tape is attached to the eyelid to prevent the eyes from opening?
 It was painful and sad to see Shinsuke, so I couldn’t hold back tears.
 Why does my brother have to think this?
 It appears that my younger brother collapsed due to an irregular heartbeat and was transported to save his life.
 I think there have been several signs before, but I regret that this kind of situation would not have happened if I had just gone to the hospital at the time.
 Shinsuke comes back!

 September 9th
 (Tuesday) Go to visit the shrine to pray
 To Shinsuke Today, Shinsuke’s daughter Miu and son Ryosuke meet together at the entrance, and take them to the ICU where Shinsuke sleeps…
 The moment I saw Shinsuke, I was scared to see him crying…
 Ryosuke sat down and stared at his father, who had never imagined what Shinsuke was like.
 Miu calls out to her father
 As if the two of us were answering such a sincere appeal, a beep sound echoed from the machine, and it felt like we were answering the answer with the breath being driven by the machine.
 Cold fingertips cold cheeks
 The three of us call out to each other with tears, Shinsuke comes back, Shinsuke lives…

 Wednesday, September 10th
 Today is the day when the teacher talks, and honestly, I was scared even before I headed over… The worst thing that goes through my mind
 But I had hope and went to the shrine to pray in the morning
 I arrived at the hospital during the visit, but about 3 hours later.
 I was forced to wait because I would take action
 Before the meeting, I asked the teacher about our parents and wife’s parents…
 I can’t answer any calls that I can’t expect to regain consciousness anymore, I can’t open my eyes, touch anything, feel, or laugh
 He was taken to the hospital and hope was lost.
 Everyone in the room was filled with tears, and I asked with hope that no matter what he did, Shinsuke would never be able to feel anything again.
 The response was “no.”
 I’m in a state of hopelessness, but I’m not experiencing my ecmo, breathing with my lungs, and my heart is assisted by an artificial respirator and alive.
 I’m speechless and my heart is broken
 I wish I could change myself
 I wish I could help you
 He tried to explain Shinsuke’s condition to those who came home to visit Shinsuke, who had been waiting for him, but he was overflowing with tears and could not hold back, and he explained it while crying.
 But I want them to continue to believe in hope and miracles and pray.
 It was a painful story
 Why does his younger brother have to think this way?
 I wish a miracle would happen to Shinsuke too.
 But I won’t give up, I want to continue praying that I collapse or my head explodes until Shinsuke wakes up
 The only precious and proud brother in the world
 My beloved little brother will always be acchan
 Cute little brother
 I like the world where there is more than the world where there is no Shinsuke who wants to live
 I want him to survive In the end I got home around 8:30pm
 It was a moment when I saw Shinsuke
 The machines around the bead have been reduced a little and I can touch the hands.
 Live Shinsuke

Thursday, September 11th
 When I went to my parents’ house in the morning, Miu said he couldn’t go to school.
 I was crying with tears leaking
 He seems to have heard from his father (old man) and his heart is lying about not being able to go to school…
 I snuggled up to Miu and talked with Miu.
 I took out a photo of Shinsuke from his childhood and looked at it together.
 I’m a little more relaxed and can’t go to school, so I study at my parents’ house…
 Meanwhile, I went to the shrine to pray
 Then my mother went to the hospital and came back from the hospital.
 Together with Shinsuke…
 Shinsuke seemed to vomit today and was turned sideways
 Let the nurses clean it up
 Shinsuke had a more refreshing expression than before.
 Warm your head, cheeks, forehead, and your hands
 I feel my body warmer day by day
 After that, he asked Shinsuke to come again, saying that he would have to take care of him, and left the ICU.
 One more step tomorrow, another step, we brothers are living in full today

 Friday, September 12th
 Today, before I meet Shinsuke, I wake up in the morning and head to the shrine to pray.
 Then I went to my hospital and headed to the bus in the morning
 The bus is already stopped, so I rushed
 It was the first time I ran after I was hospitalized, I didn’t know if I could run, but I ran and headed to the bus.
 I made it in time…
 Then I went to the hospital, and when I saw the doctor for the first time in a while after surgery, I was relieved and relieved, and told the neurosurgeon about my younger brother…I felt a little hope that he would help me.
 However, even though the doctor didn’t know anything, he couldn’t say anything, and he received a warm voice saying that he was praying for his younger brother’s recovery, except for the position of being a doctor.
 After that, I went to the rehabilitation department and visited the doctor who helped me while I was in the hospital, and although the situation is difficult, I received a warm message to not do anything too much…
 After that, I took the bus and got home temporarily and went to my parents’ house to check on my parents’ situation, and both of them wanted to go see Shinsuke.
 In the end, the three of us went to Shinsuke…
 Today’s Shinsuke was lying down in the opposite direction again
 Today, my hands are warm, my feet are warm, my cheeks are warm
 The forehead seemed to have been covered with a towel and a machine to measure brain waves.
 Tears flooded with tears as I breathed as I tried to live my life to the fullest today.
 Sorry I’m a brother who keeps crying, I’d like to replace him if he’s going to replace me
 I called out to Shinsuke a lot and sent her powers to her until the meeting was over.
 Live Shinsuke
 Shinsuke’s important people have been waiting for his smile to come out…

 September 13th
 Since Shinsuke collapsed, he has been sending messages and photos to Shinsuke’s LINE.
 I’m not going to get a response from my younger brother like I was in the hospital
 I’m sending it to you, thinking that it will be delivered to your heart
 Today it’s raining and stopping slowly
 The sky is also sunny or cloudy
 Today we headed to the shrine and prayed, then headed to my father and Shinsuke
 Shinsuke’s wife and family can see emotional fatigue.
 I want to support everyone, and I want to help Shinsuke too.
 Today, Shinsuke’s friends from kindergarten and his mother couldn’t meet, but he came to visit us.
 My younger brother seemed to have washed his hair today, and his expression was pleasant and had a refreshing look on his face.
 However, yesterday I was treated to excrete phlegm and was constantly facing down, so my face was swelled and my lips were swollen.
 However, what surprised me was sudden irregular breathing and convulsions in my legs
 And the sound of the equipment
 I was surprised at what happened, but the nurse said that sometimes hiccups occur when the foot convulsions occur at the same time…
 He seemed to be in pain, so I thought I could suck him up, and he fell on my forehead and calmed down, and he replied, and said it was okay, but
 Hiccups continue for a while and then they start to happen again.
 But it was the moment when Shinsuke felt that he was alive again.
 My fingertips felt a little cold today, but my legs were warm, my body, cheeks, forehead and head were warm
 I felt like I was living my life so hard
 I almost burst into tears as I see my younger brother working hard today
 I took off the tears that were constantly overflowing at the outer corner of Shinsuke’s left eye many times.
 It’s Shinsuke himself who wants to live more than anyone else.
 I want Shinsuke to laugh again, I want him to see his loved one, and I want him to hear his voice.
 I want to feel the two of you snuggle together
 We were not able to meet until this happened, but
 Thank you for making me think it’s important once again
 Live Shinsuke Live Shinsuke

 September 14th, three-day holiday, Sunday
 Is Shinsuke collapsed and transported for a week?
 Today, the temperature has risen since yesterday and the sky is covered in clouds
 A humid day trapped in the humid heat
 This morning I headed to the shrine to pray for Shinsuke and the family’s body.
 I was surprised by Shinsuke’s hiccups and convulsions yesterday, but when I saw the sentence that convulsions and hiccups are physical reactions that can only be achieved by the brain’s life, I felt Shinsuke’s life a little.
 I hope you can feel Shinsuke’s breathing again today as well.
 Thinking about this, I developed and framed a photo of the couple
 Just as Shinsuke wakes up at any time, he won’t be lonely…
 And today I took the bus and went to Shinsuke.
 Koganemaru-sensei also came to send power to Shinsuke…
 My backrest was woken up today, and I was happy to meet Shinsuke, who has been awake for the first time in a while.
 It seemed to be a little hot and was cooled
 Apparently he was given a sleeping medication
 Yesterday’s face and lips have improved completely and the complexion is good
 We’re going to take a little bit by little, but let’s work hard together, not just push ourselves too hard.
 I’m glad we met today…
 I want to get better and breathe in the air outside a week after collapse
 On my way home, I met a black cat.
 For some reason, good things happen when I meet a black cat
 So I hope something good happens to Shinsuke
 I’ll pray…

Monday, September 15th, Respect for the Aged Day
 This morning, the sky is full of clouds, but the sun is peering in the distance
 The sky is covered in clouds, and I wonder if Shinsuke has awakened too
 I went to the shrine again today and prayed for Shinsuke, so that my best friend would save Shinsuke and protect his family
 Today I met my niece Miu from noon and headed to the hospital
 The two of them met Shinsuke’s wife’s sister and mother in the family room and then they went to the ICU where Shinsuke is…
 Shinsuke’s room moves to another room.
 The photos and talismans that I had placed next to them were displayed outside Shinsuke’s ICU…
 Today, he was resting on his side and his body was cooled down, and he had a high fever and could not administer medicine, so he cooled his body from outside.
 Shinsuke’s hands are warming up again today
 Miu always wraps her dad’s big hand and says that his dad has a big pen sachet, and searches for the octopus
 Throughout the meeting, I held my dad’s hand and raised my cheeks and felt the warmth of his…
 Only one dad and his precious beloved daughter
 I stared gently, rubbed my back and rubbed my big back too.
 Shinsuke’s time to cuddle
 Until this happened, I had never been so close to my younger brother since I was a child.
 I wish I could cherish my time with my younger brother more
 I think now
 My nephew came after that, but I was a crybaby after all, and I couldn’t stand his father’s appearance and wept tears, and he snuggled me up, like Shinsuke when he was a child.
 But today I came to see him wearing the cap I received from my dad.
 But I couldn’t hold it in front of my dad and cry
 Warm family time
 Shinsuke was still living his life today, breathing warmly and doing his best.
 It would be great if the fever was calming down quickly and we could meet again.
 Thank you for today too
 Today we all folded a crane in the family room…

 Miu went home to his parents’ house and prayed to his grandfather’s Shinto altar and headed home after the rain.
 A gentle, warm, daughter and son who look like a dad
 I’ll take you again Shinsuke
 Don’t panic at a step tomorrow

Tuesday, September 16th
 It rained heavily at dusk yesterday, and it rained a little at night, and the mornings where the rain from last night remained.
 Today is another humid cloudy morning
 Today I went to Hie Shrine to pray for Shinsuke
 Today, a cute white mushroom growing from a beautiful grass
 It looks like Shinsuke and his couple who are close to each other, and he is so adorable that he can’t help but take multiple photos.
 I hope Shinsuke can overcome the difficult situation again today and breathe with a warm feeling
 Let’s live a kind and warm life together today
 Today, I took my mother in a wheelchair and took a taxi to Shinsuke…
 I couldn’t drive a car after my brain surgery, so I couldn’t ride a bicycle, so I took a taxi.
 To drive a car, you will need to receive documents from the police and a medical certificate from the doctor and the rehabilitation teacher.
 When I took a taxi to the family room on the floor where Shinsuke’s ICU was located, Koganemaru-sensei came again…
 I received the power from the teacher and went to my mother and Shinsuke.
 Shinsuke is still hot today, and I hope he can lower the heat from inside his body with medicine, but there are some parts that have a bad internal organs and he cannot lower the heat from inside.
 It was cooled from the outside
 Today, my mother was holding Shinsuke’s hand and snuggling and talking to me the whole time.
 My mother is a wheelchair so I can’t come alone easily, so when I was able to come, I was close to Shinsuke and felt the warmth of Shinsuke.
 Kogane Maru-sensei was pleased with the proof that Shinsuke is living and that he is trying to live.
 Yesterday, the teacher’s wife and still a small son came to send power to Shinsuke.
 Shinsuke is loved by everyone
 He would probably want to express his gratitude the most…
 I felt the warmth of Shinsuke again today, and my mother came home together.
 The taxi driver on his way home also suffered a serious illness and was hospitalized at the same hospital for three months, and then lived a discomfort hospital life in another hospital for a year. He seems to be giving away candy to everyone, expressing his gratitude to those who took the taxi, and to those who took the taxi.
 My mother and I also received two candy.
 Thank you for being alive
 I am the same with me, and when my younger brother comes home, I would like to share my gratitude with him to the world…
 What! Shinsuke…
 Thank you for meeting my mother today despite the pain
 He was happy, and looking at Shinsuke’s face it seemed calm…

 September 17th
 Today I went to the clinician who had the first MRI, who prescribed medication, to see me.
 I am hopeful to a neurosurgeon and tell my younger brother about his younger brother
 I want someone to help Shinsuke
 However, when I talk about hypoxic encephalopathy, I lose my words
 I want anyone in the world to make a miracle for Shinsuke.
 If possible, I can exchange a healthy body other than my brain.
 It’s fine to replace my brain with my tumor-depleted brain.
 I want to make you feel the sudden disappearance again
 After that, I went home to pray at the shrine.
 Today I went to the hospital where Shinsuke is in order to hear his father and his doctor talk from him at 1pm.
 My wife and her family, me and my father listen to the teacher’s stories.
 Shinsuke is currently fighting infectious diseases, fighting fever, and breathing hard.
 Today, the doctors and nurses gave Shinsuke’s nursing care, which was worth the effort, and the fever was slightly lowered, which was 39°C, and the temperature fell to the 37°C range, and it had settled down.
 My younger brother is still alive and not brain dead, but he is still a vegetative human.
 I can no longer hear the voices of my loved ones, my loved ones, I can’t sing my favorite songs, I can’t speak, I can’t smell them, I can’t express my emotions, but if I’m not brain dead, I have hope, there’s miracles
 The heart is trying to live to the fullest
 The doctor is also the one who sets his hands on the matter and can’t express the emotions he is treating Shinsuke, but he feels like he is trying to live his life as if he is uttering his will through his body through his breathing.
 I really want to change…
 Shinsuke went to the next stage, respite the device that compensates for his breathing from his mouth to his neck… He felt his younger brother as he was living his hard work, and he went home today, following his father.
 Send a LINE message to my younger brother and send a photo
 I’m living my life hard today
 Thank you Shinsuke
 I and my whole family will support Shinsuke’s beloved wife and children, so we will face the present with peace of mind.
 Good luck, the best brother in the world

Thursday, September 18th
 This morning it’s a pleasant sunny day
 I went to the shrine again today to pray for my younger brother and family
 Today the dragon from the Tesuisha was smiling
 And the cute white mushrooms growing from the grass spread out her umbrella
 He showers the sun with lots of flowers
 I felt beautiful again
 Today, I went to the police and gave a paper medical certificate that someone who had brain surgery must submit and a simple test that they did during rehabilitation, and it felt like they were doing rehabilitation at a police station when hospitalized.
 I then bought a prescription and bought a medicine, and my medicine was very expensive… and I could eat a bowl of beef bowl for 100mg.
 I have to continue drinking this forever…
 I haven’t been given permission to ride a bicycle, so I walked a lot, and before I knew it, I was already 4:30pm…I couldn’t go to the hospital I had been going to every day since my younger brother collapsed.
 I couldn’t meet today
 His wife hears about Shinsuke’s condition
 He seems to be working hard today as he fights the fever caused by the infectious disease.
 Brothers fighting today
 Shinsuke is also working hard, so I have to do my best too…
 We support each other with our hearts and minds
 Thank you for today too, see you tomorrow
 A slow, gentle dream…

Friday, September 19th
 This morning, the heat up until yesterday was completely gone.
 On a cool morning, I went to the shrine again today and prayed for Shinsuke and the heart and body of my family.
 The dragon from the Tesuisha was smiling today
 After that, today I went to my father and younger brother…
 The fever caused by the recent infection has also subsided slightly.
 I felt that my complexion and breathing were good
 Today, in the family room, we were waiting for Orikara, Shinsuke’s wife and mother, and we were folding the Orikara crane with the goal.
 Shinsuke, everyone is always there by his side, but his heart is by his side
 I’m praying about Shinsuke
 Today, I was late for a blood test and various other tests.
 Everyone is close to Shinsuke and is working hard to make the most of his life.
 That’s because Shinsuke is working hard too.
 I think it was painful today too
 Let’s take a leisurely pace and aim for tomorrow…

 Saturday, September 20th
 This morning, there are marks of rain
 Cool cloudy sky Saturday
 Today I went to the shrine again, misunderstanding my father
 My father seemed a little earlier today
 I also prayed to the gods of Shinsuke’s shrine, the dragons, the Komainu, and the gods
 Praying for the family
 Feeling the dragon’s smile, Shinsuke goes home again and again, muttering to her to live in her heart, “Shinsuke.”
 And today I took the bus with my father and headed to Shinsuke.
 Today my wife went to the shrine to pray and went to the hospital again to pray.
 Every day I’m sympathizing with Shinsuke
 I felt the warmth of Shinsuke’s breathing again today.
 Goodbye, I want to be by my side
 I want to let you stay by my side
 I’m sure Shinsuke would like to be close to me too.
 See you tomorrow
 Shinsuke did a great job today too
 Don’t panic yet, take a good rest tonight

 September 21st
 Two weeks since that day
 Today, the summer sun has returned again
 The sunlight feels hot
 However, the wind felt pleasant in the sun.
 Sunday when the summer heat returned
 Two weeks after Shinsuke collapsed
 This morning I went to visit the shrine and it seems my father was ahead of me today, so I passed by the other way and my brother was
 Today I’ll let the dragon from the Tesuiya go to bathe me
 Swimming with the surrounding greenery
 Today we touched the hearts of the Komainu and gave a greeting
 As soon as I prayed for Shinsuke and his family, I felt the gentle breeze blew.
 I felt the dragon’s smile and went home
 Then, in the afternoon of the visit, I took the bus and headed to Shinsuke.
 Today, he’s like he’s grabbing the bed fence
 Although the fever had risen a little
 I’m breathing hard today and living
 Do your best, Shinsuke, it’s painful, but everyone is waiting for you
 Rest slowly and when you settle down, grab your family’s hand
 I sent a LINE message to Shinsuke after I got home today too
 See you tomorrow
 My younger brother lives to the fullest today
 I have to live too

 September 22nd
 It was a hot sun again today
 But the air feels good and the breeze is pleasant Monday
 This morning I went to the shrine again to pray to the dragon at the waterhouse, prayed to the Komainu, prayed to the shrine, and asked my best friend.
 Praying at the Shinto altar at my parents’ house
 Today we went to the hospital a little early, but the timing of the visit began.
 I left my father home, and today I felt Shinsuke from outside the ICU door and sent her power to Shinsuke and returned home.
 Shinsuke seems to have cut open the tube he had been passing through his mouth until now, and his face was cleared by artificial respiration from the throat, but his pain probably remains the same, but for Shinsuke, the teacher said that this was easier, and his younger brother who continues to fight, and I want to lift my healthy neck down…
 We are supporting each other with our brothers and supporting each other, and we are living our lives to the fullest today.
 Sorry I couldn’t meet Shinsuke
 I asked my wife to do my best too!
 I think today was another difficult day for treatment.
 Please take a good rest
 I’ll send the sky and wind I felt today
 Come back soon

September 23rd, public holidays, Autumn Equinox Day
 The air and wind that feels good autumn again today
 It’s not too hot in the sun, but pleasant outside weather
 I went to the hospital yesterday but due to treatment
 I couldn’t meet
 I’m glad we met today
 I went to the shrine again in the morning and my father was praying today.
 After that, I went home praying about Momo Shinsuke and the whole family.
 Today, I’m still not allowed to work hard, but I worked hard and headed to Shinsuke.
 My wife’s family and dad went to pray to the grandma Kankan, whom I and Shinsuke called.
 I asked my mother and grandma to the shrine today
 I went to Shinsuke’s place.
 I was just changing position and was convulsing, but I quickly calmed down
 It was the first time in a while that I could see Shinsuke’s eyes, but I quickly closed my eyes.
 I was surprised to see that the father who came afterwards was too annoyed to say things he didn’t like for the first time today when he moved his body…
 Seeing Shinsuke breathing hard as he is working hard today, I felt that I also had to work harder.

 Thank you Shinsuke

 It can’t be overpowered though
 I’ll fight with Shinsuke too
 Let’s do our best

 It’s okay Shinsuke
 If you’re tired of sleeping, get up again and eat your mother at your parents’ house with delicious atmosphere and a delicious meal with your beloved wife!

 I’m tired and hard work today too
 I hope you have a relaxed night and have a gentle night
 Thank you for today too
 See you tomorrow!!

Wednesday, September 24th
 Shinsuke, today is about the same time as yesterday.
 Today, I went to Shinsuke with my father…
 I felt comfortable and cool this morning
 The sun shined during the day and felt the hot sun reminiscent of the lingering heat.
 This morning, I prayed at the shrine again, and today there were many white mushrooms growing on the grass again.
 The vitality that grows even when mowed
 I want to share it with Shinsuke
 Today, the dragon at Tesuisha smiles gently, and the Komainu-sama should also protect their hearts and warmly.
 I pray for Shinsuke and his family and feel the gentle breeze blowing.
 A beautiful butterfly flies down
 And today I asked my best friend to go home and head to Shinsuke
 I was surprised when I moved yesterday, but today too
 My father’s unpleasant words made me twitch and yawned even more.
 Maybe because my eyelids were thinly open, tears started to appear and I wiped them a few times
 I wiped away any dirt around my face
 Shinsuke started hiccups and seemed to be suffering, but today he asked his wife to wash his head.
 I’m sure I felt refreshed when I wiped my body…
 Even a small change makes me happy now
 I was happy to feel Shinsuke breathing and feel that he is living his life to the fullest today.
 If I had a little time, I would like to fold the crane and see how long I’ve been holding it now…
 I hope Shinsuke wakes up and feels the pleasant breeze of autumn…
 The evening sky seen from the rooftop is nice again today
 Tomorrow I’ll talk about the teacher again
 I hope Shinsuke will be a kind step that will lead to tomorrow…
 Let’s live tomorrow as well, all our brothers take a step forward!!

Thursday, September 25th
 This morning, I feel the coolness and warmth of the sun.
 This morning I passed my father on the road and headed to the shrine again.
 Today, a shrine is filled with a unique smell of ginkgo fruits dropped by ginkgo trees.
 The grass is exposed to sunlight and feels beautiful and soft
 The wind is pleasant
 Praying for Shinsuke, praying for his family, I felt the smile of Komainu-sama and the smile of the dragon in the Temizuya, and asked my best friend to go home.
 I went to the hospital before noon because I had a talk from the doctor today.
 From then on, I was able to hear that the doctor couldn’t let go of the emergency patients until after 3pm, but it was a little more hopeful than before, but the discussions from the office staff after that were realistic, and even with the high-priced medical system, monthly payments were so high that I hoped that Shinsuke, who was in a state of mind, would be able to support and help his family as a family.
 If I feel like I’m going to die, I feel like I can do anything if I think it’s for my family.
 However, I would be scolded if my doctor or rehabilitation doctor found out, but even if I die I would be able to support myself by being able to give up for my younger brother, my younger brother and my family.
 Today, Shinsuke yawned and moved every time.
 For Shinsuke, my younger brother who lives his best
 I have to work hard with my family
 Shinsuke’s world is so comfortable outside the hospital.

September 26th
 It was a pleasant sunny day today, and when I went to the shrine to pray, I saw that today there were so many dragonflies that I had never seen before.
 I wonder if the dragonflies are praying for Shinsuke too…
 thank you
 Today was a hot day with the sun, just like summer has returned.
 The fever of my younger brother has subsided, contrary to the temperature outside.

 Shinsuke’s appearance was a refreshing look on his wife’s face as she adjusted her beard, and the fever that was high yesterday seemed to have subsided during the night, and for the first time he was in the 36°C range, and he seemed to be sleeping comfortably.
 When my father called out to me yesterday, I was yawning and moving
 Today, I feel calm and calm in movements and expressions
 It was good but
 My father was persistently calling out to Shinsuke’s moves to see hope, so he seemed sad that he had no response.
 Still, Shinsuke is the best
 Shinsuke, who fights against the infectious diseases, was breathing as hard as he could today and was living his life as hard as he could.
 I did my best today too
 Let’s take another step towards tomorrow without panicing, and proceed calmly.

Saturday, September 27th
 Today is a cool, cloudy morning
 A town with traces of rain
 There was also a large puddle of water.
 Today I greet the dragon god at Tesuisha and prayed for Shinsuke
 I pray to the Komainu, to the shrine god and to my best friend.
 A shrine in the morning where you can feel the gentle breeze

 Days of praying for something good to my best friend
 Today I did a lot of work until the very last minute I left to go to Shinsuke.

 Let’s meet with my father at the bus stop from Kawasaki and go to the hospital together.
 The wife, older sister, mother, and the three of them head to Shinsuke first.
 At that time, Shinsuke seemed to show a yawn.
 He didn’t show it to his dad today, and it felt like he was sleeping comfortably due to the comfort of the heat.
 Looking at Shinsuke, I felt relieved that it looked like he was just sleeping.
 My fever and blood pressure were stable and I was relieved
 My younger brother, who worked hard today, breathed and lived to the fullest.
 thank you
 Sorry, Dad always makes me fuss about watching Shinsuke’s reaction.
 Thank you today, see you tomorrow
 Let’s take another step together.

Three weeks after the day of transport, Sunday, September 28th
 My younger brother lives with all his might to his best today
 Thick breasts expand and contract with breathing
 Occasionally convulsing legs
 Hair and beards that are tailored by your wife
 Shinsuke’s unchanging appearance and shadow
 My younger brother appears to be just sleeping
 Three weeks is longer than I have been hospitalized.
 I couldn’t help but want to breathe the air outside quickly
 I was looking out the window every day
 Shinsuke must also miss the outside world as well.
 I want to get better soon but
 Still a little patience
 Today I went to the shrine and felt the smiles of the gods
 I felt the wind
 Today I met my father at the station and went to Shinsuke.
 Apparently, when his wives went to meet, they yawned and moved.
 When my father and I went, they seemed to be sleeping in peace
 I was breathing hard today and living my life to the fullest.
 My younger brother is taking another step to tomorrow
 I have to try hard myself too
 Thank you for today too
 Let’s all live together tomorrow, the whole family

Monday, September 29th
 The new week begins again with summer sky and clouds
 Monday when the heat returned with the sunlight
 I went to the shrine again this morning and greeted the gods, prayed for Shinsuke, family, and asked my best friend to go home.
 And today I went to my younger brother by myself
 However, Shinsuke’s treatment began and he was unable to enter the ICU until the meeting time began, and then he waited a little over an hour.
 Shinsuke’s wife and mother came, and at the same time the PHS phone that had been given to her rang and the three of them went to Shinsuke.

 My little brother breathes hard and lives to the fullest today
 I adjusted my wife Shinsuke’s eyebrows and cut the toenails that I had been interested in using the nail clipper he had brought with him.
 The moment I started cutting, my toes twitched
 I was panicked, thinking that I had deep nails too…
 I’ve never cut people’s nails so I can’t get used to it
 I cut it nicely and polished it with file to avoid any sharp points.

 I did what I was planning to do today, and then made a promise to meet Shinsuke tomorrow and went home.

 My younger brother is becoming lighter and more beautiful each day
 I didn’t panic, I tried my best today, and I spent one step at a time, breathing one breath at a time.
 see you tomorrow……

 Tuesday, September 30th
 I didn’t feel the heat yesterday at all this morning
 It’s a pleasant morning, but the sky is covered in clouds
 Feels good with no humidity
 Feeling this atmosphere, I head to the shrine
 Today, he greets the gods, praying for Shinsuke and his family, and heading home.
 Today, I felt that it was a good step for Shinsuke, and felt that way, and went home.
 I’ll come to my father and Shinsuke again today in the afternoon
 His wife and mother had come first, and apparently he had given her a haircut for him today, and he was moving his body at that time…
 I guess he was happy…
 My loved one has my hair done…
 And the biggest surprise is that the ventilator tube was removed this morning and spontaneous breathing began.
 Honestly, my wife and I both felt a sense of security with the ventilator, so spontaneous breathing is still scary.
 Ichipo Shinsuke went on again, and today I could feel Shinsuke living his life as he breathes with his heart and his body with his own lungs.

 And today I cut the nails from my precious work tools.
 Shinsuke was neatly tidy and polished with file and slept calmly.
 And today, the nurses are all writing diaries for Shinsuke
 I read that diary
 Everyone was kind and sympathetic to Shinsuke and watched over him.
 I was moved…
 Shinsuke, you did your best today, you lived your life as hard as you could.
 My fever and blood pressure were stable today
 That’s good
 Tomorrow, don’t rush, take care, breathe calmly, breathe, and live together warmly

October 1st
 It rains all day, rainy days, puddles Wednesdays
 Today I went to Hie Shrine, the god of rain, on a morning when it rained lightly
 I think I should definitely go on a rainy day today
 I pray to the dragon god at the Tesuisha today
 Praying the Komainu hit by the rain and praying to the god of the shrine
 I felt a white shadow behind the glass at the shrine
 All the gods protect Shinsuke
 I felt like he said that
 I can’t go to Shinsuke today
 Look up at the sky and pray
 I stare at the sky that fell into a puddle and pray
 At the rainy dusk
 I pray when I see the orange sunset covered in distant clouds from the rooftop
 Wednesday I continued praying even if I couldn’t go
 My wife and mother came to my parents’ house, so I asked Shinsuke about what he was doing.
 Today he seemed to be calm and resting slowly
 And Shinsuke is doing his best when he talks about whether he might be able to move to the ward.
 I felt that I was working hard every day and working hard
 I’ll go see you again tomorrow
 Take a good rest…
 See you tomorrow

 Thursday, October 2nd
 The remaining morning after the rain, today is a Thursday when the warmth has returned again.
 However, I don’t feel the summer heat anymore
 A comfortable atmosphere on Thursdays
 This morning I went to the shrine to pray and felt the smiles of the gods
 Pray for Shinsuke’s first step and pray for the health of his family
 I felt the shadows of the gods again today and went home
 And today I went to Shinsuke’s hospital with my father.
 The nurse or Shinsuke’s room has changed
 It seems that they moved from the room that was the deepest part of the ICU and then moved to the room where you can feel the window, and then another IV tube was removed, making it lighter and the nurse was pleased.
 Shinsuke seemed to be awake today, moving his body, moving his eyelids and making him feel the movements of his father and me.
 And gestures like taking a deep breath
 My father was delighted, and Shinsuke was doing his best today and was living his life to the fullest.
 The fever was a little high, but I massaged my feet and massaged my palms.
 Thank you Shinsuke
 I was a little tired as I moved and removed the IV tube.
 But it was another day that felt like I had taken a big step.
 I think I’m tired today too
 I hope it’s a gentle night
 Let’s take a step forward and take a good step tomorrow.
 I’m working hard every day…
 I’ll do my best too!!

October 3rd
 Today is my parents’ wedding anniversary
 I missed my father on the way to pray to the shrine in the morning.
 We bothered to go to the shrine
 Today, the gods made me feel a gentle breeze
 And today I’ll be with my father and Shinsuke
 Today I wiped Shinsuke’s face and hands cleanly.
 Massage your legs and rehabilitate them to prevent indirect stiffness.
 I slam my mouth at my dad’s request
 Move your body
 What made me happy was that while I was massaging my fingers, Shinsuke’s fingers moved as if he was holding his hand tightly.
 Today, the roots of the IV drip were even more removed and it felt even easier
 Apparently his wife washed her head afterwards.
 Maybe I can rest today
 Shinsuke tries hard every day step by step
 I was doing my best to breathe spontaneously and live a warm life, and my fever has subsided and I think I’ve calmed down.
 My younger brother works hard every step at a time
 I’m glad I felt it today too
 Thank you Shinsuke
 Let’s work hard together tomorrow, let’s live

October 4th
 Saturday, cloudy morning
 This morning, I went to Hie Shrine, a shrine with rain, to pray for Shinsuke and the feelings of my family.
 Morning glory also looks up at the sky and prays for the sun to shine
 Today, the gods smiled and gave me a gentle breeze
 Then he went to his father and his two Shinsuke
 His wife and mother seem to have met Shinsuke first, and today he was sleeping quietly.
 We went to the ICU to meet Shinsuke, and today it seemed like our fever was calming down and we were sleeping slowly.
 I borrowed a warm towel from the nurse and wiped Shinsuke’s face.
 He yawned like a pleasant feeling
 After that, I wiped my hands and fingers and then massaged my legs again and moved them to prevent the indirect from solidifying.
 My father looks forward to Shinsuke’s reaction and movements every time, so he seemed a little lonely today.
 Shinsuke’s fever wasn’t high and seemed to be sleeping peacefully, which made me feel relieved…
 My caring younger brother would be treated daily and examined by various nurses, but I thought he would be uneasy, but everyone was there to support me and my family was relieved.
 Shinsuke did a great job today too. Take a good rest.
 I hope it’s a gentle night…

Sunday, October 5th
 This morning, it’s a quiet Sunday morning when the air feels a little hot
 The sky is blue and white clouds, the sky feels like summer
 Maybe it’s raining, the road that leaves a mark on the rain
 The shrine’s grass was also shining with fine raindrops
 Today, the gods smiled and gave me a gentle breeze
 During the day, the sunlight is warm, and today Koganemaru, the author of Shinsuke’s manga, will also be coming with his family.
 Today I went to the hospital just before my wife and mother arrived.
 And to Shinsuke and his father again
 On the bus heading to the hospital, the three of us met his wife and went to the hospital.
 While I was waiting in the family room, Koganemaru, couple, and children came to visit me.
 We wait for the time to meet Shinsuke while playing with our children.
 Today, I will be holding my hands and bringing the power from Koganemaru to Shinsuke.
 The couple also prayed in front of the ICU door.
 To Shinsuke, after a little time to treat him, he passed the wait and then went to Shinsuke.
 Today I had a gel-like application on my lips to prevent them from drying out.
 Shinsuke is sleeping again today with a slightly calming fever.
 Today, when I massaged my arms and legs, it hurt, and there was a moment when my mouth slammed into motion.
 A week of taking a big step
 Are you tired of living hard this week?
 A calm look
 My younger brother worked hard for a week, today’s moon was shining beautifully in rainbow clouds.
 Shinsuke: You did a great job this week too! You’ll likely be taking a warm step with all the brothers for the new week!
 see you tomorrow!

Monday, October 6th, Mid-Autumn Month
 Today is a day where you can feel the wind
 Monday at the start of the week
 I missed my father on the way to the shrine this morning too
 I went to the shrine without getting in
 Today, the gods smiled and gave me a gentle breeze
 Today, I went to Shinsuke with my father
 Today is the day of the teacher’s story
 I’ll go and meet Shinsuke before my wives
 I’m sweating today and my hair is soaking
 My face is sweaty
 I borrowed a towel and wiped away sweat from my hair, face and face, and wiped it cleanly and refreshingly.
 Maybe it felt good and moved my body and mouth
 He also pleased my dad
 Then wipe your hands, fingers and feet to make them feel refreshed.
 Move gently to prevent the joints from getting stiff
 It seemed a little calmer
 According to the teacher, Nobusuke has been fighting infectious diseases for a long time.
 But once you’ve settled down, finally move on to the next step
 It means that we are beginning to see a day when we may move to the ward…
 Shinsuke is fighting every day and working hard, and this is a step towards the future.
 It was a nice day
 The doctors and nurses, all together, the family, took a step forward
 It was a day when I felt my younger brother’s strength and hard work.
 If I don’t work hard, I’ll live a warm life together again tomorrow
 And one day, let’s look up at the Mid-Autumn Moon together
 Did a great job today too!

October 7th: One month since emergency transport
 This morning, I passed my father and I on the way to the shrine.
 Today is another Tuesday where the sun is warm but there is a breeze and you can feel the autumn air.
 Although my mother cannot go to the hospital every day, she folds origami cranes while thinking of Shinsuke.
 The whole family folds origami cranes every day.
 Today, it was unexpectedly early in the morning after yesterday’s teacher’s talk.
 Graduated from ICU and moved to general ward
 My father and I are going to see Shinsuke again today.
 My wife and mother also came to the hospital at the same time and talked to me.
 When my father and I went to the hospital room first, Shinsuke was yawning and moving his body many times.
 Today, I wiped my face, massaged my hands and feet, and wiped them again.
 My wife and mother also came in the middle of the day, and my wife cleaned my face and mouth.
 Shinsuke also looks calm surrounded by his wife and family.
 I’m worried about the general ward being different from the ICU though.
 Shinsuke was breathing as hard as he could today as well.
 I really want to let her feel the outside light in a windowless room, but I’m still trying to be patient.
 Today we took another step forward thanks to Shinsuke’s hard work.
 I want to continue to support and help Shinsuke by being close to him as a family.
 Let’s try our best to live together
 I’m starting to feel the colors of autumn little by little outside.
 I want to make you feel the autumn breeze
 I think I was tired from moving and changing my environment today, but I did my best!
 Let’s live warmly tomorrow, the whole family!!
 Congratulations on your big step Shinsuke

Even though I’ve been weak since I was little, I have been troubling my brother and challenged him to fight him, and even if he loses, he has to fight again.
 We wrapped a cushion around our stomachs and played professional wrestling together.
 Lose or win
 My little and weak brother

 My younger brother’s hands are thick and big, and he’s big
 My daughter Miu is a gorilla
 But no matter how big I grow up, I sent it via LINE to say I love gorilla that I want to stay by my side forever.
 No matter how big you grow up, you become a gorilla, you love me
     

 It’s lonely
 Why Shinsuke, I would have been fine
 I have to live for the kind and beloved kids

 Miu grabbed her dad’s hand and snuggled her close to her.

 The world’s best younger brother and the world’s kindest father
 His proud dad and his proud younger brother

 I’ll continue to breathe as hard as I can
 I want you to live a warm and gentle life

 I love you, Shinsuke, I’ll live!!!

AKIHIRO TAKAHASHI
お返事皆様お一人お一人にお返し出来ず申し訳ありません。
皆さんのお声お気持ち祈り家族皆で受け止め、伸輔にちゃんと届けさせていただいております…….
Facebookからのお声祈り世界中からのあたたかな思い祈り伸輔はちゃんと聞いて頑張っています。
家族もそんな皆様の声に救われ、伸輔に寄り添い一緒に闘うことが出来ます。
本当にありがとうございます。
これからも伸輔家族共に精一杯呼吸し一生懸命生きてまいります。
これからも僕ら兄弟を伸輔夫婦を家族を見守りお祈りくださいますと幸せです……
どうぞこれからもよろしくお願いいたします…….

Sorry I couldn’t reply to each and every one of you.
I will accept your voice and pray for your feelings and deliver it to Shinsuke…
A voice from Facebook A warm thought from all over the world Shinsuke listens carefully and does his best.
Their family is saved by the voices of everyone, and they are able to support Shinsuke and fight together.
Thank you very much.
From now on, I will continue to breathe and live my life to the fullest, breathing my whole life.
I would be happy if you would continue to watch over our brothers, Shinsuke and his wife over their families…
Please continue to support us in the future.